Yiota, Greece.

Before our meeting at a cozy cinnamon-bun cafe on a Wednesday morning, she had already been to the gym and a spa. Her inner spirit is showing an after-glow, her gaze is relaxed and nothing is revealing that she will turn 50 next year. We have lots to catch up on, and as always, our biggest topic is: men.

We got closer after going to theatre together. I say theatre, because I am still not sure if a male dance show is the right name to cover what we saw. It is also not that they were strippers, although they did take their clothes off. And they did gave lap dances on stage. And we did group hugged with a sweaty big-muscled Hercules who was 4 times our size. Okay, maybe they were male strippers.

Let’s just confess that we are both on a journey of embracing our female sexuality and enjoying the male version of it is part of that.

Yiota

In Yiota’s case, it is also giving honour to her name, which stands for evoking elegance and grace. She is named after her grandmother, who opened a floor of her house in Thebes for her when Yiota left her parent’s house at the age of 16. ‘I needed to grow up fast. There wasn’t much space for me to be young, I always needed to be the responsible one. I was not just the kid, I was also the partner. It was not healthy for me.’

Before her moving to the country-side, she lived in one of the Athenian sub-urbs. The moving was a big change: from the people to the way of living, everything was different. In addition, she was now responsible for everything in her life. ‘Of course my grand-parents helped me to find my routine, but other than that, it was on me to take care of myself.’

She already knew what responsibility looked like and her personality helped to deal with the change: just as today, you could find her chatting around with all the people in the neighbourhood, always seeking for exciting new things to do together with others. Her biggest joy was driving around with a group of friends, with no big plans or destinations, just chilling, laughing and catching up. ‘It was a very good choice for me to go there. I could focus on myself and the things I wanted in life.’

Family business

This also included following her heart while picking a profession she felt passionate about. While her parents would prefer differently, she signed up for a business program at the University of Crete. She was determined to work in the Greek tourism branch, but ended up standing next to her father in his carpenter shop. ‘When I grew up, It was not my dream to work in the family business, but in the end, he needed my help. And in Greece, we help out our family whenever we can.’

The biggest challenge for the company was to increase the profit. Yiota saw the potentials, pinpointed the biggest opportunities and came up with a strategic plan. ‘There were lots of opportunities for us to do international trading, so I set up connections in countries like China and Malaysia. They could offer us high quality furniture, but for less money than we could find on the European market. My father was a bit cautious with all of this, but he had trust in me.’

After the first business successes, she became the Head of Business.

Personal way of leadership

Yiota has found a way to be strict in her decision making without losing her connection with the other. She cuts the knots based on knowledge and facts, and has her arguments ready whenever somebody tries to convince her otherwise. Her posture changes when she is certain, her shoulders move backwards, her chest proudly to the front, chin up. A proud Greek woman. You can only sit, listen and respect from there: here stands a woman who knows how to deal with challenges in life, and even though she knows that she can handle them alone, she always makes sure that everybody around her is included and takes a shared responsibility over anything that needs to be done.

A bit like a Miranda Priestly, but a nice one.

Surviving in crisis

This catalyst mindset also helped her during the economic depression of 2008, when Yiota needed to be inventive again. The competition in the carpenter industry was high, and by this time, Yiota had moved to The Netherlands because of the job position of her partner. While she was leading from distance, she needed to understand what was happening in the country, their industry and inside of their shop. She laid her trust in the hands of the woman who worked for her as their saleswoman. She considered her as the eyes and ears of the business. During their online meetings, they analysed how they were different from their competition. They planned to reposition their business from there, but not much change was needed. ‘We found that we were not different because of our products or our location. It was our service, our approach. It was the way how we were leading the business as women. We offered empathy, kindness, respect. We were genuinely interested in what our customers wanted and how we could meet their needs. People knew that we were authentic, and they came back for that. That is how our business survived.’

Family bonds

When you have been responsible for life choices for both yourself and others, you may become insensitive. Cold towards everybody who wants to help you, not listening to others, even pushing them away, because you believe you have all the answers yourself. But not Yiota. ‘In Greece, you will need to know people to get things done, so it is important to invest in the relationship with the people around you. I think that also kept me grounded.’ But also the way people in Greece hold on to the cultural value of family is something that made her keep her family members close, no matter what. ‘Family is important for us. It doesn’t matter if you haven’t talked for years, the moment you need help, your family is there.’

As an example, Yiota tells me about the time her father was taken into the hospital. She took the first flight she could to see him. Just as in The Netherlands, Greece struggles with finding enough health care personnel, but where we differ, is that Greek families are involved in the care of their loved-one, such as changing the sheets and helping them taking a shower. But let’s be clear: Yiota did not only took that flight because of her responsibilities, but because of the deep love that she felt for him as his daughter.

When she arrived at the hospital, her father was in a coma. Tears rise up when she continues her story. ‘When I sat down next to his bed, I started talking to him. And then out of nowhere, he opened his eyes. We looked at each other, and shortly after, he passed away. I am sure he waited for me before he allowed himself to go.’ Memories bring back a smile on her face: ‘He was such a sweet man. Emotional, sensitive. He had a big passion for his job, he knew all the ins and outs of his craft, and loved telling his customers about it.’

Her smile turns into laughter: ‘I see a lot of similarities between him and my partner. I may have married my father!’

Unconditional love

She follows her dad’s example by investing into her own passions: business, family and – lately – dance. Yiota is planning to set up new businesses, all based in Greece. ‘I love to feel connected to my country. Even though I have my own family here, it is challenging to be away from your other relatives and the things that you know, and with this, I stay involved with my country.’ To make her dream happen, she is active in the Greek housing market. It gives her an opportunity to make several business trips a year to her home country, on which she always makes time to see her relatives. ‘You know, what I see in The Netherlands, is that love is conditional. But for me, that is impossible. Love is unconditional for me, in everything that I do. I have been through a lot with my family, but in the end, they are my family.’

By being a woman of action instead of spreading empty words, she also hopes to be the right example for her daughter. She would love for her to discover who she is and become a strong, independent woman. ‘While she grows up in The Netherlands, I hope she can embrace her Greek identity too. I hope she can absorb the best of the both worlds she grows up in: the friendliness and morality of the Dutch, and as I said, the endless deep love and connection that the Greek treasure with their families.’

In the meantime, dance helps her to connect with herself. It is a little gift to herself, after years of taking care of others. As they say, you can only give yourself to others when you first take good care of yourself. This includes some sweat every now and then: rather in the dance studio, at the spa, or by watching some pretty muscles flexing like poetry under a slick of effort.

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