Ricardo, Mozambique.

In my life, I have learned that it is easier to just spend life by yourself. No rejection, no conflict, no drama. I never understood those who claimed that humanity survived because we stayed and worked together. For me, surviving was only possible by being alone.

It took me 20 years to learn that I needed to change. Because being alone may be safe, but loneliness kills you.

Five years after those first steps towards change, I can proudly say I have build my own family of friends. It didn’t come easy. In fact, things are still hard. Rarely anybody understands that I am there for them, but do not let them be there for me. It scares me to think about the question how many of them will stay if I include them into my struggles.

But again I am proud for knowing that I am able to take this new step towards growth, and get through whatever comes. Life is beautiful and exciting. And I like that I can find adventure close to home, even inside myself.

Ricardo

Ricardo and I know each other from his Portuguese classes for beginners. Gosh, it is the most challenging language I ever tried to learn in my life. But with Ricardo, I have had the most compassioned, motivating teacher I could wish for.

You were not there last week? That is okay, I am happy you are here today.

You didn’t do your homework? That is okay, you can be the one reading out the questions instead of giving the answers.

Do you feel that you will never learn? That is okay, just keep showing up.

Ricardo is like that goofy uncle at the family’s Christmas Dinner: the one that loves to make sure that everybody feels seen, easy to detect in the crowds with his basketball-hight and big rugby-shoulders, chit-chatting around the room like a bee exploring a field of flowers. He is the one that entertains everybody around the dinner table by sharing big travel stories about his adventures from all over the 1/3 of the world he has seen. And also the one who has eye for the one who’s face may smile but who’s eyes look sad, for who he is there to just sit and listen.

He used to be one of them. Unseen from the eyes of his family: his father too busy with work to notice how his mom struggled with the care of their seven children, including little Ricardo, who suffered from asthma and bronchitis. The breathing problems kept him from enjoying the day with his brothers and sisters, and kept him up during the night. Already in his youngest years he learned that asking for help did not mean that help would come: the best way to take care of himself was to hide, stay low, and solve things by himself.  Night after night he wonders from left to right in front of the large bookshelves, leaving him reading as a distraction until the early morning hours.

Independence & liberty

It were the 1960’s of Mozambique. In the background little earthquakes of change were felt, becoming stronger over time, until the situation escalates in 1974. The colonial regime of Portugal surrenders quickly, promising the resistance allies that Mozambique will continue as an independent country after one year of administrative transition. During this year, the people of Mozambique were offered a choice of staying and getting provided the Mozambican nationality, or leaving the country for a life under the flag of Portugal. This happened to several countries that went independent after being colonized, such as Suriname in 1975. But how Mozambique’s story is different from them, is in how only the white and so called mixed-raced population was offered this choice. Everybody who was identified as black, was looking at a determined future as a Mozambican.

Ricardo and his family did have the opportunity to make a choice, and continued their lives in Portugal. He had the ambition of following the footsteps of his ancestors, who worked as judges for the court. His father had made it clear: ‘If you want to go to the university, you will have to pay it yourself.’ Looking at the college fee and the amount of hours he would’ve needed to work besides his lectures to be able to pay the tuition, he knew that he would need a scholarship. He signed up for a scholarship at the University of Coimbra. Outcome: declined. ‘These scholarships are meant for students who come from families who are not able to pay for the tuition. We know you are not one of them.’

Despite the loss, Ricardo signed up for different kinds of studies at other universities, ending up in the college seats of Philosophy at the University of Porto. He managed to get a contract at the local professional basketball team, that paid him enough to pay for his studies. He gets introduced to big thinkers, feeling most inspired by Marx, Aristoteles and Freud, and topics such as positivism (evidence-based logic and facts) and existentialism (meaning of life). He feels especially interested in the philosophy around science, knowledge and education. He believes in the idea that humans are curious beings, that need to be challenged to critical thinking. ‘When I look at the educational system today, we are not including the minds of the smartest kids enough to the topics that matters the most. We teach them Latin and Greek, but why? What will they ever do with that knowledge?’

From France to The Netherlands

For the first years after his graduation, he doesn’t pursue a career in philosophy. Instead, he finds a job in Marketing and works in France during the summers. It is here where me meets two Dutch guys, that lead to him traveling to The Netherlands in 1988. Just two years earlier Portugal had become part of the EEG. This gave him the trust that as a Portuguese, he is welcome to live and work in an other EEG-country, but after arriving, reality teaches him otherwise. ‘Apparently, there was a transition period. Because of that, I still needed to have a work permit before I was allowed to work.’ The municipality set up a big bureaucracy to keep an eye on the people who entered the country as a migrant, keeping track on where they lived and worked, and if their pay was enough to sustain themselves. Because of this, Ricardo needed to report himself to the municipality in person. ‘Imagine the long lines, we sometimes needed to wait all the way outside on Waterlooplein.’

As experienced in his childhood, Ricardo felt forced to stay low, not stand out too much or drag any attention – rather he was at work or at home. He accepted treatments by employers, landlords or even friends, even when he knew he deserved better. The transition period ended in 1993, from where Ricardo received his permanent residency and was allowed to apply for his Dutch citizenship. It gave him the freedom to move around, but in the end, Ricardo doesn’t care about nationalities. In fact, he doesn’t believe in the system it represents. ‘Nationalities, borders, politics, it is all made up. In the end, we are animals that move around and came up with all these institutions over time. In our core we are free beings.’

View on society

This is where this portrait becomes different from others, because I won’t be able to share any comparison between Mozambique and The Netherlands. ‘What is culture?’ Ricardo wonders. ‘Something that may be embraced by the majority, may be unacceptable for the few. And yet, we live in the same country, the same street, even the same building. I don’t like to talk about cultures or common habits that we see within the borders we drew, because they don’t represent the ones that stand for different values.’

Even though he doesn’t believe in the political systems that we created over time, he does believe that we should be more in touch with the world around us. ‘We are disconnected from nature and animals. While this is where we started. We forgot that we are nature, we are not superior to it.’

He points at the supermarket on the other side of the street. ‘We have this system of capitalism that is selling us the idea that everything will fall apart if we don’t treasure this system, but yet, this system is not working. It is not serving our true nature, not to forget, it is threatening the sustainability of our planet.’ Ricardo believes that we can reshape the future if we are willing to start to think critically about several global topics. He sums up an Agiled plan. ‘We need to think about how we want the planet to look like over a period of time that we will not even see ourselves. Let’s imagine a thousand years from now. And then wonder, what milestones do we need to set over time, counting all the way back to the actions that we need to take today in order to contribute to those goals.’ In Ricardo’s belief, these actions need to include getting rid of the idea that people need leadership in the form of politicians or institutions, saying goodbye to the monetary system that we know, and shift our ideas about healthy economies to one that serves life over profit, and where the best idea wins over ego.

Taking back control

It can be challenging to claim space for ideas that may not be understood by many. Especially when life has showed you that you are safer when you simply follow the footsteps that have been created for you. It can be hard to feel that you have a right to be heard. He smiles: ‘Maybe it is my age, but I start to notice how much beauty there is on this planet. And I would love for others to see it too.’ Over the last few years, he has picked up his pen, and wrote to several political institutions, such as the Dutch Ministry of Education, stating that society would benefit more if students would be challenged by technical or environmental assignments over classical languages. ‘Do you know what they wrote back? That the Dutch education system is based on the one from Ancient Rome and Greek (Grego-Romano), and there is a big demand among parents who want their kids to learn Latin or Greek. But why would you want any of this?’ His eyes – brown, surrounded with by deep-ocean blue – get big, his wide shoulders and hands expanding while he continues: ‘Why would you defend something that is so out-dated? And when it comes to the parents, don’t you see their desires are all based on status?’

But more then finding his own way of influencing the future, he finds himself at a place where he takes back power over his own life, today. ‘I just broke up with somebody that I cared for very much. We were together for 12 years, but he was never able to leave his wife for me.’ His eyes look hurt. ‘It is not easy to say goodbye after so many years. But even after all this time, everything was still hidden. It was not leading to a point where we could openly be together.’

The winners of life are the ones who can still see its beauties, after seeing its worst. Ricardo finds himself happy, sharing his apartment with his furry-pawed friend Ricky. Both of them enjoy seeing the seasons change while walking through the Vondelpark, and the peace that falls over them by looking up to the stars when the park is close to empty. ‘You know,’ Ricardo sights. ‘I know that there is only a small chance that I will make a big change. But at least I try, and I do my best. As long as I do that, I am happy.’

And not just happy, Ricardo. I think Ricardinho feels proud too.

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